PP May 7, 2004

Dear All, this is Ashtar speaking.

Sometimes we see people just trying to be happy in their daily life. They just keep their focus on their work, their families, their loved ones, and try to live happily in balance in this live. There is nothing wrong with this attitude. Except, and yes you could feel this one coming, when the way you live needs to provide you with balance and satisfaction. If you are living your balance at the inside in your outer world, it is complete fine with me, you are master of your world and you live balance. If you seek the balance at the outside world, you make the mistake lots of people are making. Happiness, satisfaction, living happily ever after, is a fruit of your inner world. You sow at your inside, you harvest at your inside and outside.

If you have to answer one question, your answer will be: I am myself. I only have to be myself. And what are you? Look at the inside and surprise yourself with the ever changing answers to this question. You are God into expression, you are God into experience. You are God into manifestation. And what you consider to be God, you express, you experience and you manifest. And your answer to your question: Who Am I? Who Am I as GOD determines what you do. And while seeking your answer, experiencing your answer, you go on with the attraction to be yourself, to experience yourself to the circle of going back to the source. When you ultimate know you are God, you are the Source, you are them, and you are one, then the journey ends and your questions has been answered.

So ask questions about how you are. Give yourself the joy of manifestation. Be curious, be humorous, take yourself lighthearted. This is what is the matter with the world, they take the play seriously. And this way the world is serious, deadly stuff, you know. And to be honest, I don?t know. For me the world is lighthearted, with joy, pleasure, a joke, a distorting mirror, humorous, happy and so on.

Don?t you get bored with the smooth face you have to wear in Sunday church of being deadly serious about well loved sins. You would only sin to feel the pleasure of living, when you are a member of any church. Better quit having churches and religions. And if you have a religion, just have the one of the heart. Your heart is an ever loving well of light inside you. If you have this as your guide in your religion, in your belief system, everything turns out to be as good as it can be.

If you ever have the chance to help someone who has walked the path of a self ending death, do so. This person needs to have a turn in life purpose. If the life purpose becomes death, death this person faces in every detail in life. You can retrace your steps when you are this person. Most of them do. But just think about how you will give yourself the pleasure of living, the pleasure of being of sparkling energy back to yourself. This is the problem all people are facing when they have walked the path. Your life systems in your world are made so that no one can retrace this path. Its is made so every one walks this path, knowing or unknowing. Every one will lose his life purpose, the pleasure in life, to be a rat in a treadmill of working for a living.

So what can you give to this person who has walked the path of a self ending death. (When you do act your plan of murder yourself, you commit suicide). First a hug, they won?t stand alone anymore.
Second go and search with them for their dreams, their hopes. Without hope they are lost. Know that the hope they will grab life with, is a straw to hold on to in life?s turbulences. The foundation has to be stronger then only hope.

So they hope for a tiny place in a corner of life, without being in sight of big problems. In this tiny corner, they try to live a happy life, where they seek balance and joy in their outer world, for inside they have already died. Just to give life to them at the inside, and life is love, and love is light, and rain to wash away the sorrow of not being accepted, or felt accepted by the world. Lots of people who have walked the path of a self ending death, are very sensitive, full of life purpose of changing the world for a better one for all. They need to be their selves.
In time they will find out that a tiny corner won?t help them. That nobody will love them in that tiny corner. So what to do next?
Retrace your step as a child. What made you smile? What gave you sparkling eyes full of joy and wonder? Ask yourself, ask your family. To live a vivid life again, full of purpose? I would die for that one. When you reincarnate you do.
Give yourself permission to fly. No matter what flying means to you. You can spread your wings and become yourself. Just learn to trust your wings, your Self.

To retrace your steps, you can unlock yourself in different manners. And you should do. Un(c)lock yourself and feel free to experience joy. To feel guilty when you feel joy and others in the world don?t isn?t necessary. It is rather ridiculous. Why should you stop and feel unhappy, when you do a better job when you feel joyous and when you share your joy?
Unlock yourself and say to yourself that you are free to accept gifts from the world and yourself. You are allowed to feel love, to feel free, to feel humorous, to feel happy, to feel secure about yourself, to feel anything at all, as long as you wish for.
When you feel you will go from one stage to the other, feeling helps you to experience yourself, but only feeling won?t satisfy you.

When you feel again, you will feel the sadness of your being, the very reason to walk this path of a self ending death. Until you find this reason, and healed the reason, you are still on this path. This reason is rather difficult to find, and needs a lot of courage to see, lots of experiencing of pain. It also needs a lot of healing. If I look at the world, I see a lot of people who stopped at this path, and don?t know how to step aside of this path. If you shut off ways of expressing, being, to walk this path, you have to find the keys you carefully threw away, and you made perfectly sure that it is very hard to find them. Ask help from your higher self. You won?t get far without help at your inside, with the overview of a loving being to help you to become yourself and this higher being at the same time.

This is your guide towards the path to living. You can walk the path of self death at your own. But you never get off alone. Stepping aside, turning your steps, retracing your inner happiness as child can only be obtained, when you devote yourself to living. You have devoted yourself to death. So only when you devote yourself with the same intensity to living, you go back to the country of the living. Then the tiny corner is not what you are seeking in life. The tiny corner is just a way of existing, without being able to live.

There are lots of techniques available to get into contact with your higher self. A few channelings ago (don?t mind my words, its a few channelings ago), I made you a beautiful meditation about going within to the inner garden of your being. Do this meditation every day. Ask your higher self to visit you every time you are there. Make sure you give your higher self a hug, and be hugged in return. Then go to your temple and sit on a couch with your higher self. While sitting, talking and listening to each other, you can talk a lot of pain, a lot of healing, a lot of learning. While talking and learning from your higher self, you are able to re-find who you are, what your joy?s are and what you came to do in this world.

With this richness in your inner world, your daily living will improve. I know, it will take time, but the time it takes is worth a million. How long did you walk on the path of the self ending death? How long do you stand on this path without a direction to take, only with the pain of not knowing how to retrace your steps? So the solution has to be ready in one day, one channeling? The solution is ready in one channeling, see for yourself, but to live the solution is something different. It will take some years. Luckily many of you have many years that would have been spilled idle without this task. When you come back in the land of living, you have time to find your life purpose and fulfill it. So better hurry, there are wonderful things to explored at the inside of your being.

With your inner self been taken care of as the garden of Eden, the higher self as the wisdom guide to retrace your steps, the love of your heart as your source of warmth in your daily life, you have all the tools you need to retrace your steps to the land of living.
With determination, love, guidance, the happy coincidences going your way, growth, healing of pain, making space at your inside, you will experience the richness of being. When you have this connection, this satisfaction of being alive, you won?t try to kill yourself anymore. While being the 3 A?s, you are alive, awake, aware and kicking your ass of the side road, you are going towards life, and no one (including yourself) is able to stop you. And certainly you won?t mind that you dare not stop yourself. Who won?t dare to be himself?

Next time when you take one single tiny weeny step on the road of the self ending death, it doesn?t matter if this is physically, mentally, emotionally, better think, the road back is very long. The road back you walk, when it is in this life or not, you have to walk back, because there is where you belong. You can?t stay away. There is the life you like to live. In this life, or the other, it doesn?t matter.

I can?t resist the remark that every addiction or habit that is bad for your body, is made by society to lure you into the road of the self ending death. Maybe I am patronizing you. Maybe this is a mirror image you don?t like to see. Everything you do that harms your body, is a step on this road. Love yourself includes your body as your neighbor. This sentence stands tall after all these messages and ages. Don?t talk this walk, just walk your talk.

Have a good time with pondering this message.
With love,


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PP may 8, 2004

This is Ashtar speaking, again.

Hello all, it doesn?t matter if you walk the path of the self ending death if you incline to kill your body or when you incline to kill your inner self (so you won?t feel the pain anymore, you don?t live a life which is opposite to the society, you just fit nicely in the expectations, and you do what is expected, the trouble is you never can make it to fit all the expectations, they change, ironically, this will be your problem, and this will keep you alive at the inside). Nicely, you always have signs that remind you that this path isn?t for you (for no body and no being). You are a living creature, as the rest is. This way you walk the path of living. And you can?t wander far away (only in your point of view it is possible) for live sustains your point of view that you don?t have a worthwhile life. Life sustains you, no matter what. So when you indulge yourself in the path of self ending death, you, the god inside you, sustains you with this path. You see as you like to see, you have experiences as you like them, fitting in your point of view. You are God expressing, god into manifestation, god into creation. No matter what you like to create. You create every instant of a moment.

Good love,


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